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It's a harsh reality that breaking up with a loved one hurts. It's been proven that break-ups can even have very real physical effects including stomach pain, weight loss, headaches, and fatigue. So it's natural that a person who recently suffered a break up would want to anything they could to stop the pain--and in most cases, this means getting their ex back. Although the circumstances of a break up can vary widely from couple to couple, there are a few simple measures you can take to help get your ex back. We all know that when a relationship breaks down there is often the tendency to jump to all the wrong conclusions. I do not know you personally and so I do not know what you are going through or how the relationship began to fail. One thing is for sure, there are some common fundamentals that are similar in most cases when we start to lose the connection with the one we love. Instead of focusing on your ex, take some time to focus on yourself. No one is perfect, and chances are both parties in the relationship have made some mistakes. Take some time to think about your actions, you words, and your attitude and how they may have contributed to difficulties in the relationship. Once you have identified those, take responsibility for them. That doesn't mean taking the blame for everything that went wrong, however. If you do feel as though your ex could improve the relationship through their actions, tell them so, but so do diplomatically and with as little judgment as possible. You are only half of the break up, though, and as such can only be half of the solution. Listen to what your ex has to say, too. Although some of what they share with you may not be easy or pleasant to hear, it's important to not react on a purely emotional level. Don't interrupt. You will learn a lot more about what is going on in your ex's head and heart by hearing complete sentences and thoughts than you will by interrupting them before they can qualify the first part of a sentence. That means taking some time out for yourself and reflecting on the issues your ex may have pointed out to you. Do you think they are things you can improve? Are they asking you change a habit or pattern, or are they asking you to change who you are? This leads to the next point, give your partner space, do not come off as demanding or like lost puppy seeking attention. This screams of insecurity and dependency. To conclude, keep communication open, give your ex space, talk to key mutual friends to get other perspectives on the matter, go speak with your ex and listen, then go home and think about it - do not react then and there. Take responsibility for your actions and deal with the challenge head on.
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