He Was Passing A Kidney Stone, It’s OK To Cry!
I didn’t even know I was expecting and now I am the proud father of a 2 millimeter shard of kidney stone. One minute I didn’t have a care in the world and the next BAM! It hit me. I have never felt generic drugs without prescription pain like that before, it was like I was incorrectly lifting a truck off the ground and while I was busy doing that someone decided to kick me in the groin, every 5 minutes.
My wife was able to help me get in the van; we were off to the Emergency Room. We have driven to Baltimore from Florida many times and those trips seem like joy rides compared to the 20-minute journey to the hospital.
When we finally made it and I was whisked through triage and received my stylish standard issue open back dress and an I.V. of their best fluid. The most pain-relieving thing I could do was pace, even though the nurse kept saying sit down and relax Mr. Price. I resembled Ozzy Osborne shuffling about pleading for drugs, all with my butt hanging out of my spiffy gown. My wife wanted to help but there was nothing she could really do.
My energy really got depleted because of the pain, I can totally understand the mean things that come out of the mouths of women in labor. I wanted to say to my wife, “Honey, I appreciate your concern but there really isn’t anything you can do.” Oddly enough it came out “You did this to me!! I’m pretty sure your mother had something to do with it too, and I want flippin’ drugs now!”
So I finally I got the drugs, or as they call them, “the good stuff”. Shortly after the relief kicked in I decided that Dilaudid would be a good name for a girl if we ever had one. I got a Cat Scan, a verification that buy cheap drugs it was indeed kidney stones and they sent me home to drink gallons of water and strain my urine. I had never had to do anything like that before but it reminded me of when I was a kid and we went to North Carolina on vacation and went mining for gemstones. Only this time it was without the dirt.
I think it passed about halfway through the next day. Later that same day I received a call from a friend who had told his Mom about my ordeal and she said, “Tell Greg to thank his wife for having their baby.” For the record I have thanked her, but then I started thinking, no one asked me if I wanted an Epidural.
Greg has been writing articles online and offline for over 7 years. He has many specialties including humor, parenting, and personal development check out his latest website on My Little Pony party supplies, check out the ideas for a My Little Pony birthday cake while you are there.